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Sex, How Often Is Often Enough?


Have our sex lives become just another mundane statistic in our modern fast paced lives? Am I getting enough? Am I performing well enough in bed or am I having the right type of sex? These are all common questions that couples and singles ask themselves every day. To address these questions we first need to ask  ‘What is the average frequency and type of sex that others are having?’.  Of course the amount and type of sex that we engage ourselves in isn’t necessarily the perfect indicator as to the health of your relationship or sexual lives. What sex therapists do tell us though is that when couples stop having sex their relationship becomes vulnerable to infidelity, unhappiness and divorce.

So how often is often enough to keep us feeling adequate and our relationships firmly on the rails?

sex calendarHow Much Sex?

So how much is normal when it comes to doing the wild thing? There is in fact an average, generated statistically through surveyed research. These surveys typically report a sex frequency from once or twice a week through to once a month with only 26% of couples to be achieving the once a week figure. Of course these wide ranging findings are anything but concise and simply spell out that there is no right or wrong answer.  If anything they point to the regularity of sex as being the most important trait when it comes to maintaining a healthy sexual relationship.

Factors such as age, lifestyle, libido, health and life-cycle of your relationship can all play a part in your sex life. The amount of sex you are currently having can be influenced greatly by any number of these factors. Should you feel your sex life is in decline, identifying and diagnosing pain points in these areas will generally always produce an upward swing of sexual activity. Even a declining libido due to age is easily addressed these days.

Have More SexIs More Sex Better?

An interesting question to ask and answers can vary widely depending of whom you ask. Surveys that interview sexual partners separately can generate some interesting yet contrasting statistics. These surveys do suggest that 80% of males will occupy the ‘more please’ bracket while this stat sits at 50% for women. With these percentages in mind it does sound like most of us are wanting more sex, or does it?

A study was conducted at Carnegie Mellon University where 64 sexually active couples were split into two groups. They asked Group 1 to keep their sex lives the same and Group 2 to have twice as much sex as they usually did. The results aren’t what you would expect. At the conclusion of the study Group 2 reported that their enthusiasm and zest for sex had declined and that sex just wasn’t as fun anymore.

Is more sex better? It seems we are ultimately happiest when we engage in sex as often as we choose.

What Type Of Sex?

Am I doing it the right way? Do we need to be doing anal? Should we doing it in different places? Some more common questions that couples and individuals ask themselves. Statistics show that a vast majority of all sexually active couples do demonstrate at least one form of sexual exploration. Variety is an integral component of sex and can greatly increase your sexual satisfaction and is generally thought of as an essential part of maintaining a healthy sex life. There are many sexual experiences to explore should you and your partner choose to indulge and we’ve listed a few below for inspiration. Simply put, your sex life is your own so follow the path that brings and your partner the most benefit and pleasure.

Sex toy groupsPositions – Trying new positions can not only be immensely fun but also allows you to discover the favourite positions for you and your partner, perhaps even a combination of positions. Adding to your reportage of positions brings variety, spontaneity and assists you to maximize each other’s sexual pleasure and satisfaction as each position can target different erogenous zones.

Sex Toys – Bringing a sex toy or three into the bedroom can take your sexual pleasure and adventures to the next level. Vibrators provide pleasurable sensations to any part of the body and are very useful to assist some women in achieving orgasm. Extensions, Strap Ons and Cock Rings bring both an erotic feel as well as a big performance boost. Dildos and dongs are the most popular of all sex toys and can be used on both men and women with a huge selection to choose from. Sex Toy kits are great to try different types of toys and there are some amazing Anal toys to get you into the mood.

Bondage – Today bondage is a hugely popular sexual genre that many of us participate in. There’s something for everyone in the B&D world, whether you’re looking for a little role play as a naughty nurse or harbor a desire to be restrained and teased, in the most sexually pleasurable way of course! You can develop your own ideas by browsing in the fully stocked Bondage sexEstore.

Locations – Trying new situations and locations can be an amazing and exciting experience. Outdoors, in your car, at a party, in public –  there are so many different choices it is simply best left to your imagination or should we say your inclinations! One common couple’s role play is to pretend you have never met before and arrange to meet at a public bar. You can have lots of fun but just remember to play it safe and don’t get caught!

Bondage gear

In Conclusion

Given it seems there is no right or wrong answer we can conclusively state that ‘How much sex is often enough?’ is probably not the right question to ask. The real question should be ‘Am I having regular and pleasurable sex?’. This question can be answered tangibly and if it is not the answer you want to hear than you are to take steps to improve it.

Remember we are not sex machines and our libido will, and does, fluctuate which is perfectly normal. Try not to make comparisons to others when it comes to matters of your bedroom antics.  We are very different people sexually and what they say may not even be accurate anyway! With that said strap yourself in and expect to remain a sexual creature well into your eighties.

The sexEstore team - Your online sex toy store

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4 responses to “Sex, How Often Is Often Enough?”

  1. Georgey says:

    Cheers, nice informative post. It’s nice to know I’m actually in the top 26% for something!

  2. Horny Harry says:

    Never often enough for me lol. I have to admit my partner does need a break from me now and then. Every day or 2 is more like our average so I guess we sit at the top of the stats 🙂

  3. Older Guy says:

    When I was younger twice a day seemed about right. Now I am in my 60’s once a week seem about right. in other words right changes overtime as you age.

    • Josh says:

      Agree with once or twice a day, I feel agitated sometimes until I get that release. Hey I thought the ‘mid life crisis’ turned everybody into horny old men

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